I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
