Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
