Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
