JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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