Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?