just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch