I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
