No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
