He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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