Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He did a backflip because drugs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
