dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
