He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
