you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
