Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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