Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
