he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
