Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
