At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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