i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
