Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
