Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
