I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
