I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
