her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
