no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
should my penis look like a turkey
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
