you guys were way drunker than both of me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS