Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
