omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
