go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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