Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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