we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
