I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
