and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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