you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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