I'm going to jail i love you
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All the doctor said was why
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
