dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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