marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
