Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize