You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
