god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
