..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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