She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
