I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
