I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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