note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
