Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize