His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
