physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
