That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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