I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
