Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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