Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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