we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
