In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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