From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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