Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
