I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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