Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
