pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
