You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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