I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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