Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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