Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
