He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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