I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
