so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
